Is the assortment of knives in your house as appropriate as it should be?

At one time I thought I wasn’t a knife collector. I am a knife enthusiast, knife user, knifemaker, knife writer, maybe even a reluctant knife expert, but not a knife collector.

Back when I thought that way, I looked around and noticed I had a dozen knives within arm’s reach, plus the tools in the kitchen, plus the customs of my own and a few from others, plus all the factory knives. Turns out I had nearly 100 knives, which means I’m definitely a knife collector, or at least an accumulator.

In my usual ADHD stream-of-consciousness fashion, my next thought was, “I wonder if I have a knife in every room of the house?” followed immediately by thoughts of which kind of knife would go in each room. Come along on my imaginative journey as we explore the idea of a knife for every room.

Kitchen

The kitchen is intuitive. Most people have knives there, whether the knives are economy store cheapies, a mishmash random drawerful accumulated over years, a matching production set, or even dedicated custom household cutlery. On my imaginary journey, I can afford the good stuff, like a damascus chef’s knife from bladesmith Salem Straub. But that’s too easy. Why not a whole knife-fork-and-spoon-damascus set, like one from Nate “Tuna” Grant?

Garage

The garage isn’t too tough either. My first thought was a utility knife of the replaceable-blade variety. In the past few years there’s been innovation in the custom knife world when it comes to replaceable blade knives, but for utilitarian and “I can use this and not be sad if I scratch it,” I think I’ll go with the Civivi Elementum that uses standard box cutter blades.

Living Room

The living room has the fireplace mantle, which is a great place to display a custom sword. If I were feeling medieval, I’d choose something like a hand-and-a-half piece from Ryan Breuer. Conversely, if I were feeling loud and Japanese, I might choose a fine bright katana like one from David Goldberg with an epic hamon.

Study

The gentleman’s study is dark, filled with books and memorabilia—the perfect place to store and display the “real” knife collection. Personally, I’d like a collection of custom bowies. I’d include pieces like a fully forged integral mosaic model from ABS master smith Mike Quesenberry, or an exquisite collaboration like The Knifemakers’ Guild award-winning piece by Nick Orr and Bailey Bradshaw. Or maybe I’d go rustic like ABS master smith Lin Rhea’s Preacher Bowie named after a mountain man. I’d round out the room with an engraved silver cigar-cutter-and-match-box set by Travis Payne engraved by Matt Litz for when the guys and I want to relax with a puff.

These days most tend not to receive letters, only junk mail and bills, and most of the junk mail goes straight to the trash unopened. But if I had a home office and I received good mail, I’d have to open it with a custom letter opener like one in a set from Deon Nel. He made a matching set of 16, so I bet he could spare one.

Outdoors

The backyard isn’t exactly part of the house, but that doesn’t exempt it from being a part of my imaginary knife journey. For those with a standard grill, you might consider something like a san-mai brisket slicer from Dan Tompkins. Or if you’ve got a fire pit, don’t forget Will Stelter’s damascus and mammoth ivory marshmallow fork. Or if you live in the woods, you might want a forged axe like a laminated wrought iron one from Nick Bachtel.

Bedroom

Bedroom knives are a bit of a stretch. Personally, I have my hunting knives in my bedroom closet. If I were rich and fancy, though, I’d have to have a pillow dagger—you know, the dagger you keep under your pillow just in case. I’m reminded of the scene in The Princess Bride when Buttercup pulls out a fine stiletto in the bedroom, and the great Dread Pirate Roberts line that goes with it: “There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” If I were Dread Pirate Roberts, I might give my lady friend something like a poignard by Jamie Bishop, or even something dainty and feminine like a fine small piece from ABS master smith Veronique Laurent. For under my personal pillow, I’d go with something extravagant like an art dagger from the Sobral Brothers.

Bathroom

Bathrooms are for hygiene and sometimes that takes a knife. If you want to clean your fingernails or pull a splinter in style, I recommend something like a fine collaboration between ABS master smith Dionatam Franco and Evan Nicolaides. The pearl scales will shimmer in the vanity lights, and there are enough tools included to take care of many different tasks. Or if you want to play “Mack the Knife” in a dark alley then come home and comb your hair, Rick Lala can hook you up with his two-tool blade/comb folder.

How Close Are You?

You may not have a knife for every room, but I suspect that many BLADE® readers come very close. Here’s to improving the quality of your knife collection—even the bedroom knives!

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